#2: “In comes Condoleeza Rice.”

I was not a member of this dream, I was merely a spectator in it. It occurred like a movie, so that’s how I will describe it. Whether you find it funny or not, this is how it occurred. This dream was incidentally when I had a bad fever, so it may have influenced it.

George W. Bush is sitting in the Oval Office playing with a slinky, right? In comes Condoleeza Rice. George goes “What’s cookin’ good lookin’?” She says “George, we have all of these used printer cartridges. What should we do with them?” The camera zooms in on George W.’s face and he says “I have the perfect plan” and harrowing music plays in the background. But then he drops his slinky and the camera zooms back out as he clumsily picks it up, but then it zooms back in and he repeats “…the perfect plan” with the same harrowing music playing in the background.

We cut to Osama Bin Laden sitting in a tent looking at dirty magazines (because what else do you have to do when you’re in hiding?) All of a sudden he hears jets and starts running in circles and yelling indecipherable Afghani stuff. Soon, cartridges are poking holes through his tent, exploding in blazes of cyan, magenta, and yellow. It stops after about 15 seconds, and Osama is sitting in the fetal position, bewildered and confused, but unhurt.

Next we cut to a split screen between G.W. and Osama on the phone. “He he, I got you good” says GW. Osama goes, “Oh yeah! I was all like ‘Holy crap, they know exactly where I am.’ Bush goes, “Yeah, and we did, hahaha”. Osama says “Lucky for me it wasn’t a cruise missile. Am I right? Am I right?” At this point the camera shifts over to GW as he’s rolling on the ground in hysterical laughter. Then after he’s contained himself he goes, “Printer cartridges, bet you didn’t see that coming… Osama?… OBL?… you there?” At this point the camera goes back to split screen to find Osama gone and the phone of the hook.

Cut to 25 years later with GW and John Kerry sitting in a retirement home. Bush is yelling “It was the greatest military victory since D-Day!” Kerry yells back “All you did was get ink all over his dirty magazines! He got away and we never saw him again! But he planned numerous more terrorist attacks!” Bush yells back, “IT WAS A STRATEGERIC VICTORY!”


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  • About DoPYWNM

    Please submit your dreams on the "Submit Your Dreams" page in the comment section. It won't show up, it will just be sent to us. We won't see your e-mail address, and you don't have to include your name. Or, send them to dreamsofpeople@gmail.com.
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  • Submit Your Dreams

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