#78: “I’m pretty sure I wasn’t a pitcher…”


I was playing baseball on what seemed to be the Philadelphia Phillies (at least I know the uniforms were red, so it could have also been the Reds, but the uniforms looked a lot like those of the Phillies) but for some reason Mike Cameron was on my team. We were talking, and he said he already had 75 home runs in 95 games. I was blown away, and I said he had a good chance of beating the (fake) record of 90 home runs in a season by Mickey Mantle (who never held the single season record).

We decided to take batting practice even though there wasn’t a game that day. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t a pitcher, but I went through a system of green hallways that were about 12 inches wide but about 30 feet tall to the bullpen. Every time I opened one of the 20 doors it took to get to the pen, a light turned on in the next hallway. I fell once, and because the hallway was so narrow, I had to bend my back awkwardly and painfully to get up. After about 1000 feet of doors and narrow twists, I finally got to the pen.

When I opened the door, a bright light flashed at me that temporarily blinded me. I wasn’t scared, because I recognized this as the security system. Every time someone opened the door to the pen, a picture was taken of you so if anyone tried to steal anything in the middle of the night their picture would be taken. I know of nothing like this in the MLB, but it sounded logical enough. I then realized that I had lost my shoe somewhere along the hallways, and realized I had to go back and get it. I woke up frustrated and having to pee.

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  • About DoPYWNM

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