#90 “Somehow I knew the killer robot teacher was coming…”

 

Illustration by Scott Donaldson

I was working in a school room. I was frantically trying to make sure that everything was tidy in there because if it wasn’t, a robot teacher would come in, destroy the classroom and try to kill me. When I heard her coming I ran away into the corridor. As I ran I could feel myself getting a nose bleed. All the other teachers and assistant walked past but no one noticed me bleeding and I passed out on the floor in the medical room.

I was still unconscious from this nose bleed but I could hear someone talking about sending me home from work and then having an interview when I returned to work. When I regained consciousness I was at home. Somehow I knew that the killer robot teacher was coming to my house and I was clearing it out when my mum came in looking for one of her hats. She looked at one on the end of my bed which was definitely mine and we argued about who the hat belonged to until she hit me and took one that was totally different and that I had never seen before. When I picked up some more hats I noticed that they all had holes in them.

Whilst I was tidying the house, my grandparents decided to visit. They brought along this woman in a wedding dress (in reality I know her, but she’s not related to me and I’ve never actually spoken to her). She was sending a text message to someone about mouse food… The robot teacher suddenly arrived. There were metal fence type things across the windows and she pulled them away and then smashed all of the windows. I couldn’t see her do all of this. I could hear the children from the class I work in reciting what happened like they were reading a story book.

#89 “I hit every move perfectly…”

I was in a long line, and people were nervous. There was constant chatter. People were saying things like “He probably judges so hard”, and “I didn’t even see him”. I was the last one in line, and I was wearing slippers. After a long wait, everyone had left and at the end of the line was a lady sitting in a chair, and a bright blue vintage car right next to her. But I realized the car wasn’t vintage, the year was 1981. She got up, and started to dance. And I followed. Still dancing, she led me over to the car and hopped on top of it continuing to dance. I realized that this was an audition, for “the girlfriend” in a music video. I hit every move perfectly, and while still following her dance moves on top of the car a light caught the corner of my eye. There was a door, and past that door was a man. He had people surrounding him, they were putting his jacket on for him. Suddenly he walked out. The lady got on top of the car, and told me to wait for him, because she wanted to see how I’d react, if i was ready for the role. I laid there on top of the car, only to have a young, African American man jump on top of the car. He held my hand. He told me he was working on his new album, Thriller, and that he had just found the perfect girl for the music video. I woke up.

 

Illustration by Scott Donaldson

#88 “I’m ready to go”

Editor’s note: Hello all. We’re going to try to get a dream (and illustration) to you every week. Keep sending them in!  Illustration by Scott Donaldson

Jack Black and I were walking onto the street. There was a rally of goth Armageddonists that were talking about how the end was coming on Tuesday, and that’s when everyone would pay for their sins. They were in military uniforms, and they had on hats that looked like the heads of buffalo, which kind of reminded me of the beasts from Where the Wild Things Are. Jack and I decided to get out of there as quickly as we could before they started to turn on the people around them. As we walked into a bar, I saw something giant emerge and the ground started to shake. Jack just continued to walk in but I ran around to the back of the bar. As buildings were being crushed and people were screaming, I ran in and found Jack sitting on a chair calmly. I asked why he wasn’t scared and he said “I’m ready to go”. The front of the building began to be crushed by the giant whatever-it-was, and I ran to the back of the building, where the door was open. Through the window I could see nothing but dust in the air and silhouettes of running bodies fall to the ground and become lifeless. That’s when something hit me in the head and I went unconscious.

The dream didn’t end there though. I was awoken when I was being shaken by a talking rabbit. He explained to me that it had been the final judgment and now we had to get to the train. He said that only a couple million people were left. I’m assuming the train was going to Heaven. We got on the train and took our seats. There was a mixture of mostly children and fluffy, cartoonish animals on this train. I’m an adult so I wondered to myself why I was still worthy of Heaven if most adults weren’t, judging by the demographic of the train car. The animals didn’t even cross my mind. As the train began to move, waiters came by and handed us menus without saying anything. It had every food on it imaginable. As each person asked for something, it would just appear in the waiters’ hands, and the waiter would hand it to them without even looking. One girl then said “I’ll have one of everything on the menu”. The waiter did look at this girl and everyone went silent. At this point the little girl disappeared. At this point I woke up without knowing if the train was actually going to Heaven.

Oh, yes

The dreams return Wednesday, January 19.

#87 “It was terrifying.”

Illustration by Scott Donaldson

Editor’s note: Though I am schooling to become a teacher, this is not my dream. I give you my word.

I was teaching at a middle school in the inner city and was getting ready for the first day, having no training or lesson plan. At first I thought I was on my own but then there was a teacher there and I was just helping him out. We went around and introduced ourselves and I tried to connect with the kids and tell them what I remembered about being in 6th grade. Some of the kids were total punks and I yelled at one of them for lighting a cigarette and he threw it at me. I flipped out and reemed him out by saying that I was trying to “save his ass” and wasn’t going to get him into trouble but since he threw a lit cigarette at me I was going to take him to the office. All of a sudden he turned into this creature– I think it was something like a bear, and was trying to kill me. I ran around the school trying to hide but this bear creature and all the other punk kids were after me. I got an idea to try to drown the bear in the pool so I ran into the girls locker room to get there and was almost caught by the kids. I jumped in the deep end which was like 15ft. deep and waited for him to come in after me. There were two guys that I knew at the bottom of the pool that had oxygen tanks for me and I was trying to get to them, but was wondering why I didn’t see the bear following me. All of a sudden I looked up and he was right there and starting attacking me in the water, this is where things get hazy…. I don’t remember if I got away or not so this may have been the point where I woke up. It was terrifying.